i got feedback from my professor that i didnt do well on my persuasive speech and I need help ?

what my topic is about is obesity & how sugar contributes to it; how reducing sugar can help

Persuasive Speech Outline

Sally Student

Course Title Section ____

October 12, 2015

Organization: Problem-Cause-Solution

Audience analysis: The audience is college age and older, from all around the country, and predominantly Christian. They tend toward conservative Christian values and beliefs and have a concern with what God requires of His people. Since all are online college students at a Christian university, their common needs will be college related and spiritually related. They will mostly likely provide a friendly reception, especially if they feel their needs can be met by listening.

Topic: The problem I aim to address is that of sleep deprivation in America and how it hinders people from fulfilling God’s purpose of leading healthy lives.

General Goal: To persuade

Specific Goal: The persuade my audience members that sleep deprivation is a serious problem and that they should avoid it by managing their time and becoming good stewards of the bodies God has given them.


I. Get Attention

(Alarm clock) We all know this familiar sound. How do you feel when your alarm clock goes off in the morning? Tempted to press snooze several times before finally getting up? If so, you are not alone.

II. Establish Relevance

Getting the right amount of sleep is vitally important. Without it, you are unlikely to reach your full potential and to achieve your goals with excellence.

III. Establish Credibility

As a Christian, college student, (former) working wife, and now pregnant mother, I personally understand the issue of sleep deprivation and how it can have detrimental effects on the body. I also understand how difficult it can be

to have time for everything in the day and how this takes discipline.

IV. State the Thesis

Sleep deprivation, as a common problem in America today, can have detrimental effects on society, but God calls his people to counter this problem in our own lives by utilizing good time management and discipline.

V. Preview Your Main Points

I will validate this statement by discussing how sleep deprivation is a common problem, how the problem exists because people fail to deem it as important, and that a solution should be based around a Godly view of our bodies that urges us to be disciplined to manage our time better.

Transition: Let’s take a closer look at this important topic.


I. Main Point 1. Sleep deprivation is a common problem with detrimental effects.

A. Adults need 7–9 hours of sleep per night but the average American adult only gets about 6.9 hours (Drake, Kryger, Phillips, 2005).

B. Sleep deprivation causes cognitive and mood problems. A test by University of Pennsylvania that showed subjects who had gone 2 weeks with less than 6 hrs of sleep per night were just as impaired as people who had gone 48 hrs consecutively without sleep. (Epstein, 2010).

C. Sleep deprivation can also cause obesity. A University of Chicago study showed how sleep deprivation changes hormone secretion so that appetites increase, feeling of being full decreases, and the body’s response to sugar is altered. (Epstein, 2010).

Transition: This brings me to my second point.

II. Main Point 2. Despite these negative effects, Americans generally do not take their need for sleep very seriously.

A. Adults report the main reason they don’t get the sleep they need is that they are too busy. They know it’s a problem but they have trouble practicing healthy sleeping habits. (Key Findings, APA).

B. Adults wouldn’t have as much trouble getting more sleep if they simply would move good sleeping habits toward the top of their individual priority lists. I know from personal experience that if I fail to make something a priority and don’t see it as important, I likely will not do it well.

Transition: This brings me to my third and final point.

III. Main Point 3. The solution to the problem of sleep deprivation is to understand that God values our health and wants us to take care of the bodies He has given us.

A. 1 Corinthians 6:19–20 reads, “Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit…you are not your own…so glorify God in your body.” (ESV) As Christians, we must make it a priority to be good stewards of the body God has entrusted us with.

B. With this as our motivation, we understand that we must be good stewards of our time during the day so that we can be good stewards of our sleeping time at night.

C. Time management is key. This involves deliberately planning out your day, limiting potential distractions, saying no to non-essential tasks, and being disciplined enough to stick to your schedule. (Mayo Clinic, 2012)

Transition: This brings me to my conclusion.


I. Summarize Your Thesis and Main Points

We see that Americans have a sleep deprivation problem. If we fail to get the sleep we need, we seriously risk doing harm to our bodies. This sleep problem exists largely because we refuse to make healthy sleeping habits our norm and to recognize that God expects us to take care of our bodies. The solution to this problem is to understand that getting enough sleep is our spiritual duty and to schedule our lives to be sure we are being faithful to God by practicing good sleep habits.

II. End with a Clincher

I encourage you to analyze your own sleep habits and to get more sleep if you need it. Make realistic goals for your day and give yourself enough time to get the sleep you need so that you are better able to glorify God with your body.


Drake, C., Kryger, M., & Phillips, B. (2005). Summary of Findings – Sleep Habits.

National Sleep Foundation1, 7.

Epstein, L. (2010, June 18). The Surprising Toll of Sleep Deprivation – Newsweek and

The Daily Beast. The Daily Beast. Retrieved from http://www.thedailybeast.com/newsweek/2010/06/18/the-surprising-toll-of-sleep-deprivation.html

Key Findings. American Psychological Association (APA). Retrieved from http://www.apa.org/news/press/releases/stress/key-findings.aspx

Time management: Tips to reduce stress and improve productivity. (2012, June 20).

Mayo Clinic. Retrieved from http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/time-management/wl00048

COMS 101

Persuasive Speech Instructions

This course requires you to present a persuasive speech to a live, visually documented audience of 3 or more adults. Use a video recording device to create an audible recording of this presentation for submission. After recording the presentation, upload it to YouTube as an unlisted video and post the video’s link to the instructor via the designated Blackboard assignment submission link. See the Posting Speech Videos to Blackboard via YouTube tutorial (in the Assignment Instructions folder) for step-by-step instruction about this process.

Your speech grade will be determined by the degree to which you satisfy the requirements listed below.

1. Choose an appropriate topic.

This assignment requires you to research a global, national, regional, state or local problem that apparently exists because humans in general or a specific group of humans are neglecting their duty to promote the things God values in this world.

· The problem may be political, economic, educational, environmental, medical, religious, or cultural. It may be a false belief or set of beliefs (about God, nature, or other people) that needs correction, a wrongful attitude or type of attitude (toward God, nature, or other people) that needs adjustment, a neglectful or wrong way of acting (toward God, nature, or other people) that needs to change, or a state of needfulness or brokenness that exists as it does because of human indifference or inactivity.

· The problem must be a social one that deters many individuals—not just a few isolated lives—from experiencing life according to God’s Word as he intended when he created the world the people in it.

Among the social issues that could generate a qualified speech topic are the following:

abortion, infanticide, or euthanasia discrimination (racism, sexism, ageism)
abuse (child, elder, self, spousal) ecology (climate change, pollution, littering)
addictions/codependency/eating disorders education (underachievement or illiteracy)
air, land, or water pollution famine, drought or diseases
animal abuse or vivisection labor issues (child labor or sweatshops)
bioethics (cloning, eugenics, stem cell research) marriage (divorce, cohabitation)
birth or population control poverty (world hunger or homelessness)
crime (street, juvenile, gang, or white collar) sex (pre-marital, extramarital, homosexual)
criminal justice (prison crowding, recidivism) slavery or human trafficking

The following sites may be helpful for discovering or exploring these and other qualified topics:

Center for Bioethics and Human Dignity The Heritage Foundation
Family Research Council The Rutherford Institute
The American Enterprise Institute The Pew Forum on Religion in Public Life
The Discovery Institute

Speech Goals Because this is a persuasive speech—a speech in which you try to persuade the audience to believe or value something or to act in a specific way—and because you are to use this particular speech to advocate a redemptive (i.e., God-honoring) solution to a social problem, your goal in this presentation is to use information from appropriately credited expert sources in 2 ways:

(1) To identify the social problem and to establish, with information from credible sources, that it exists somewhere in the world, and

(2) To prescribe a redemptive remedy for the problem—a remedy that, if implemented by someone or a group of people, would promote something that God, according to Scripture, values and that, if implemented, could help somebody experience life as God, according to His Word, meant it to be experienced.

Examples: In such a speech, you might use information from documented expert sources to establish that abortions claimed 630 lives in your home county last year. You would then use Scripture to argue that God values human life, including preborn human life. Finally, you could argue that the county must take 3 specific steps, described by you, to eliminate or diminish the frequency of abortion in the county. Alternatively, you might also use information from documented expert sources to establish that the federal government authorizes the use of a certain chemical in the treatment of drinking water and that credible research from sources A, B, and C indicates this chemical actually causes cancer. You could use Scripture to establish that God wants humans to protect the bodies he created. You would then argue that the federal government must take steps to protect people by banning the chemical from use in the treatment of drinking water.

As you promote something God values (e.g., life, quality of life, creation care, etc.) through this speech, be sure you do not condone or promote something God’s Word discourages or prohibits (e.g., fornication, adultery, homosexuality). After all, a solution is redemptive only if it promotes something that God values according to Scripture. If you are uncertain whether your proposed solution to a social problem satisfies this standard, discuss this in advance of the project’s deadline with your instructor.

Other Topic Selection Criteria: Your topic must satisfy not only the preceding criteria, but also the topic selection criteria set forth in the course reading materials and the Liberty University Online Honor Code. In addition, your topic must comply with the following:

· Choose a Topic You Can Address Ethically: Avoid any topic that leads you to portray legally or ethically questionable texts or behaviors in a favorable light. This includes but is not limited to theses that advance sexually promiscuous activity, the use of illegal substances, or other behaviors that Liberty University’s statement of values prohibits. Questions about the appropriateness of topics, sources, etc. should be directed to your instructor early in the speech-planning process.

· Choose a Topic You Can Address Originally: Your speech topics MUST be researched, selected, and delivered primarily for this course and not primarily for, or in conjunction with, a presentation for a church group, a Sunday School class, a social group, or any other small group. You may not give a speech that serves a double purpose.

· Choose a Topic You Can Address as Required by the Instructions: You must choose a topic that enables you to construct the speech in a way that satisfies the specific requirements of the Speeches Grading Rubric, which lists the criteria that your instructor will use when grading your presentation.

2. Form a thesis statement and research the topic.

Please note the following:

Process Overview: To do this, you should do the following:

(1) Form a preliminary thesis—a single-sentence statement that succinctly proposes a specific solution to the asserted social problem. Because this functions as your working thesis, you should assume for now that this will be the main point of the speech.

(2) Research credible sources for thesis-related information about your topic.

(3) Finalize your thesis, modifying it if necessary to match what your research disclosed.

(4) Express this finalized thesis as a complete thought in a single-sentence thesis statement.

(5) Choose the information from your research that most powerfully delivers the type of information that this thesis statement requires.

(6) Present this information in a logically sequenced outline of properly documented main points, sub-points, and perhaps even sub-sub-points, using the Persuasive Speech Outline Template document as your formatting guide.

(7) Your outline in its final form will serve as the blueprint that you mentally must follow while extemporaneously delivering the speech to your audience.

Source-Related Requirements: For your persuasive speech, you are required to use 4 expert sources. You must use and clearly cite examples, illustrations, statistics, quotations from experts, etc. from at least 4 expert sources in this project. An expert source is a person, group of persons, or organization with documentable expertise in the area it addresses. Information from such sources typically derives from personal interviews with credentialed experts or from documentable print and/or electronic publications.

· The Bible as an Expert Source: While you may of course use the Bible as a source when related to your topic, it must be in addition to the 4 required sources.

· Non-Expert Sources: Never use information from anonymous or questionable sources such as Wikipedia or any printed source authored by someone whose credentials for addressing the topic are not clearly established.

· Liberty University Database Source Options: It behooves you to consult the Liberty University Library’s research portal for access to many potentially useful, credible databases.

3. Organize your information in the form of a conventional speech outline.

After you have finished your topic-related research and found what you believe to be enough credible information to support your original thesis statement or a modified version of the thesis, begin the process of organizing it in the form of a speech outline.

Be sure to satisfy the following guidelines:

Create a Draft Outline and then a Final Outline: The speech outline process involves 2 submissions. If you post the optional draft outline, your instructor will provide constructive feedback to it that can help you create a stronger final outline. Submit each outline via its designated Blackboard submission link during the module/week when it is due.

· The optional draft outline is due by 11:59 p.m. (ET) on Monday of Module/Week 5.

· The final outline is due by 11:59 p.m. (ET) on Monday of Module/Week 6.

· Use the Provided Outline Template to Build Your Outline: Download the MS-Word formatted Persuasive Speech Outline Template document. Retain its format, but be sure to overwrite its non-boldfaced content with content of your own that is appropriate for that element in a speech that aims to support your thesis about your topic.

Use Problem-Solution or Problem-Cause-Solution Pattern to Order Your Content: For the persuasive speech outline and speech, you must use the Problem-Solution or the Problem-Cause-Solution organizational pattern for addressing your topic. See your course materials for more about this pattern.

Include All Essential Outline Sections: These include the following:

· The introduction must be listed in this order: your attention-getter, credibility statement, thesis statement, and preview statement.

· The body must include 2–5 main points, each with supportive subpoints, and perhaps even sub-subpoints. These will consist mainly of documented examples, illustrations, statistics, quotations from experts, etc. that you have derived from the 4 or more expert sources that this project requires.

· The conclusion must include a summary statement, a call to action, and a concluding element that refocuses the audience’s attention on the thesis.

· The Works Cited (MLA), Reference page (APA), or Bibliography (Turabian) must properly credit your sources and must do so in the format prescribed by the respective format used.

Document Your Sources Properly: Do so both in the outline itself and on an end-of-document source citation page.

· Use In-Text and End-Page Citations: Whether you directly quote, summarize, or paraphrase information from another source, always explicitly acknowledge the source from which you derived the information.

· Always Offset Direct Quotes with Quotation Marks! Place directly quoted words inside double-quotation marks to make it clear that you are not claiming to be the originator of the quotation’s wording. Failure to use double-quotation marks to offset directly quoted material constitutes plagiarism. Plagiarism a serious academic offense that can result in automatic failure of the assignment or automatic failure of the course (see the Liberty University Honor Code for more information about this).

· Avoid Plagiarism! Always explicitly attribute information to the source from which you derived it. This requires you to use parenthetical citations or footnotes in the outline itself to show which information derives from which expert source. This also requires you to list the same sources on a Works Cited (MLA), Reference (APA), or Bibliography page (Turabian) in the format prescribed by the style manual that you choose for this project.

· Use Direct Quotes Sparingly: If you include directly quoted material from another source in your outline, it must account for no more than 20-percent of the outline’s content.

Remember to Submit the Persuasive Speech Outline before its Deadline! Its deadline is by 11:59 p.m. (ET) on Monday of Module/Week 6.

4. Practice presenting your outline content as an extemporaneous speech.

Guidelines for Practicing Your Speech: Please not the following guidelines for this step in the speech preparation and presentation process:

· Record Your Practice Speech(es): The graded speech recording will require you to use a video recording device, so use one when practicing the speech, to help you prepare.

· Keep the Time Frame and Audience Requirements in Mind: Remember as you practice that you are to deliver a 4–6 minute speech to a visually-documented live audience of 3 or more adults.

· Practice Speaking Extemporanously: Practice delivering your speech extemporaneously (i.e., spontaneously and naturally) since you will not be permitted to read the speech to your audience.

· Prepare and Use Notecards: You may use notecards for occasional reference during the speech presentation, if needed. Do not use visually distracting alternatives to notecards, like full sheets of paper or digital devices.

· Practice Your Visual Presentation Skills: Maintain strong posture, gestures, and eye contact with the audience and you must avoid any visually or aurally distracting mannerisms while speaking.

· Practice Your Aural Presentation Skills: You must use an effective volume, pitch, rate, and vocal delivery during the presentation.

· Practice with Your Visual Aid: You must properly use a visual aid during your speech delivery.

5. Record the persuasive speech presentation.

Speech Recording and Submission Process: Record the version of your speech presentation that you wish to submit for grading and post it to Blackboard via YouTube. Please note the following regarding this:

What You Need for This Step: Before you begin, be sure you have the following essentials:

· A functioning video camera with audio/video capture capability

· A well-lit room where you can present the recorded speech to your audience

· Space that enables you to stand 8-15 feet from the camera while recording the speech

· A physically present live audience of 3 or more adults

· Notecards (3″ x 5″ is the ideal size), for occasional reference during the speech

· A makeshift lectern (if desired)

· Your required visual aid, to add meaning or impact to part of your presentation

What to Remember as You Record Your Speech:

· Have an audience member start the camera for you, when you are ready.

· Position the camera person 8-15 feet from where you will speak

· The unpaused recording must begin by showing your audience members and then must sweep toward you as you then begin to deliver the speech.

· Remain visible and audible throughout the entire speech

· Your recording must be continuous; do not pause or stop the camera till you are done.

· Speak extemporaneously! DO NOT READ YOUR SPEECH! Speeches that appear to be read may be deemed unqualified for grading.

· Use effective kinesics (posture, gestures, facial expressions, and eye contact) to add meaning or impact to your presentation.

· Use effective vocalics (volume, pitch, tone, rate, and pauses) to add meaning or impact to your presentation.

· Use the visual aid, when relevant, to add meaning or impact to your presentation.

· Avoid any visually or aurally distracting mannerisms while speaking.

6. Upload the persuasive speech recording for grading.

(1) Upload the Speech Recording to YouTube as an Unlisted Video: For step-by-step instructions about this, see the Posting Speech Videos to Blackboard via YouTube document in the Course Menu’s “YouTube Tutorials” area.

(2) Confirm that Your Upload Succeeded. Watch the entire video to confirm that the upload was successful and that its content is both visible and audible.

(3) Confirm that You Have Given the Video “Unlisted” Status. If you have given it “Private” status instead, your instructor will be unable to watch and to grade it.

(4) Post the Video’s YouTube URL (http://www . . .) via the Speech Submission Link. Do so not later than its deadline.

(5) Remember the Deadline! The Persuasive Speech Link submission is due by 11:59 p.m. (ET) on Monday of Module/Week 7.

If you have questions about these guidelines, direct them to your instructor as soon as possible.

*The views and opinions expressed in the videos are those of the speakers or authors and do not necessarily reflect the views and opinions held by Liberty University.

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